BLOG.THENARCISSISTINYOURLIFE.COM: Recent Comments

Comment on Narcissistic Stepmother-Nightmare

mikki — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 21:26:53 GMT

My husband's MOTHER is the narcissist. His step-mom is actually the "normal" one. His mother would always "give", but not without "diabolical strings" attached. Finally, when her "puppet son" wouldn't jump like he had in the past...she began her cruel mission. When we distanced ourselves from her toxic cruelty, she slandered me throughout town telling everyone that I was controlling and had stolen her son and was isolating him from his family. No mention of the horrible, humiliating things she did, that led us to decide to stay away. She is the evilest person. I'd match her against Charles Mason any day - she'd eat him alive. And yet, she plays "the helpless little victim" like a charm...and some people actually buy it. Recently, she had some one tell us that she was "sick and of ill-health". Sure.

Comment on You Will Prevail Over Your Narcissistic Family

Jasmine B — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 06:04:38 GMT

Thank you for your article. It is empowering to see in print that one will never receive any respect from any member of the narcissist family. Any change takes effort. It is just so unbelievable that people can be so self serving and unkind that it makes the recipient of such battering feel they must be doing something wrong.

Now to show you how dysfunctional this thinking is, I have worked with child abuse and neglect on two occasions and as a professional Guardian ad Litem in private contested custody cases for many years. My family has no respect for my profession. If you are not wearing a military uniform or making high dollars, it meaningless. I now know my entire philosophy of life just does not fit with the narcissistic environment in which I was born. Thank goodness I have others who see me as I truly am; they just were surprised I could buy into such nonsense! Thank you again for your assistance. I also worked as a flight attendant for a number of years and lived in NYC. It was the most freeing experience of my life. Jasmine B.
PS Any suggestion of "freeing yourself" from these people would be welcome. They do not want to let go easily of their "scapegoats", target children, pawns, or objects.

Comment on Understanding - Dealing with the Narcissist's Rage

Terry — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 22:14:05 GMT

I don't comment very often, but I read this blog regularly and agree with the previous comment. It is definitely the best source of information about narcissism on the internet. I read it daily and appreciate Dr. Linda's professional dedication to maintaining it for the benefit of her readers.

Dr. Linda, you are a wonderful writer and a marvelous teacher. I have learned so much. Thank you. Understanding what is behind a narcissist's rage helps make coping with it easier.

Comment on Narcissistic Mothers Endanger And Abandon Their Daughters

agirlagain — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 23:27:57 GMT

I have only recently discovered at the age of 48 that my Mother has Narcissistic Personality Disorder...You have pretty much described parts of my life and the lifves my siblings lived while growing up under the Rule of Narcissism. It is so very sad! I have allowed my Mother to steal so many moments and entire years from my life and refuse to allow her this power over me any longer...enough is enough already! I thought this article was extremely accurate, educational and right on spot when describing the personality of a narcissistic Mother.

Thanks for putting the information out there for us all.

Comment on Understanding - Dealing with the Narcissist's Rage

Susan — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 01:19:10 GMT

This audio clip underscores the magnificent service Dr. Martinez Lewi provides to anyone who has come to recognize and/or be impacted by the havoc a narcissist can create while explaining their inner turmoil and learing how to emerge unscathed from their wrath. She delivers her messages with insight and compassion, providing tools for awareness and growth. Having been the target of a narcissistic rage resulting in the abrupt ending of long friendship, her writings and audio clips have helped me to frame such outbursts as a symptom of a much deeper problem that I personally am ill equipped to handle, nor have the desire to, especially after gaining a greater understanding of the pathology of this disorder including the illusion of their appeal and the depth of their potential destruction.

Comment on Wise Woman-Discerning What She Needs From What She Wants

Nancy — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 14:46:23 GMT

Your site has given me invaluable help and comfort. Thank you

Comment on Narcissists can be Devastating to Highly Sensitive Individuals

Lynn — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 23:28:11 GMT

My narcissist mother describes me as being "too sensitive". I have memories as a small child of not wanting to come out of my room in the morning because I could hear my parents talking at the kitchen table and I would be afraid they were/could be angry. As a teenager, my mother would come home from work and pan the living area for disarray--if things were out of order she would be mad at me. It set the tone for the evening. I am hypersensitive to how my husband is feeling--if I sense he is unhappy, we have to talk and get it out so the day can go on. I absolutely dread the thought of talking to my mother.

Comment on Narcissists can be Devastating to Highly Sensitive Individuals

Susan — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 14:58:16 GMT

I didn't know I was married to a narcissist. I thought he was as different from my dad as I could find so lived in total denial and thought everything was my fault. I literally "forgot" the most severe traumas, even 15 yrs. after divorce sometimes they unexpectedly come back and I still struggle to believe it...he was that perfect in my eyes. And I so convinced I was worthless. I did divorce because I suddenly became terrified of him, truly paranoid as I started to wake up. No description for the evil unleashed at me and my children when I filed. Two years so bad that 2 separate therapists said he was intentionally driving me to suicide. He used his success and crooked legal system to steal everything from me, even my own inheritance. I spent $50,000 mostly from credit cards and finally worn down to point we never got to trial. I ended up giving him everything he demanded, full custody of our children, everything we owned, all retirement funds. He even found a way to insure I never got Cobra, so no insurance. I had to file bankruptcy, he never adhered to the few things I was given, especially concerning raising our children. He knew I had no money left to take him to court to enforce the judgment. Three months after the divorce, the judge was removed from the bench for corruption. It was too late for me. The toll all this took on my children is indescribable because he didn't care if they got hurt as long as he could hurt me and they were his weapon of choice. After so many years of denial both with husband and my father, I had no way to protect myself when his true evil nature came out in the divorce. He was so convincing eve my family didn't believe me, as he often reminded me. Everyone thinks he's the greatest, most reasonable, put upon by me guy in the world. A divorce with a narcissist is not a normal divorce. To them, it's not about negotiation...it's kill or be killed. They have a terrorist mind set hidden under a veneer of perfect presentation, impecable credentials, that everyone, including me, WANTS to believe. By the grace of God, my relationship with my children has weathered horrific storms. But my health is destroyed, I went from a comfortable life to poverty. He ruined my friendships and relationships with my own family. I don't know if I will ever recover. It's been 15 yrs. and the older I get the harder it is to just survive. Pls. don't even consider divorcing a narcissist until you understand you can't know these people or what they are capable of until the mask drops and then, for me, it was too late. You have to find an attorny who is an expert at this complex, terifying process. They will wear you down in ways you can't imagine and steal all your resources monetary and relational. He is an "upstanding" highly esteemed man. Nobody would believe all the, not only unethical, but illegal things he did to destroy me. I'm glad he wasn't able to destroy my soul (he tried) but be prepared to lose everything else.

Comment on Mother/Son Narcissistic Duo

mikki — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 01:48:33 GMT

My husband's mother is a monster, and definitely a narcissistic sociopath. Mother narcissists certainly create narcissists. My husband is one and it's because of his mother.

Comment on Narcissistic Mothers/Fathers Abandon Their Children

Lynn — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 22:39:42 GMT

Donna, reading your comment reminded me of a moment in more recent time when I was talking to my mom on the phone. She hadn't seen me in a while and essentially was trying to figure out how my "weight was". (I've always been petite and she always wishes she could be so petite.) When I responded that "oh, I'm keeping the same" she replied "well--so far". There is always the knife with a little twist!