Growing up in a narcissistic family with siblings with the same
personality disorder is beyond challenging. Mother or father narcissist
(or both) has seized upon one of your siblings (or more) as the perfect
living model of their excellence. From the beginning it is obvious that
this child is the One. All of the attention is placed on this child.
Narcissistic mother idealizes this living supply and experiences this
child as a perfect replica of herself. The blooming narcissist is
allowed to psychologically demean, humiliate and harm his/her brothers
and sisters. Mother
dismisses her other children as inferior. She makes fun of them, tells
them they can't measure up to the chosen child and that she is too
drained to listen or do anything for them. These narcissistic mothers
have their priorities. The "imperfect" children are treated as servants
in some cases. They do the cleaning, cooking, errands. They even pick up
after the golden narcissistic child. One of the most painful incessant
patterns is that they are constantly compared with the chosen one as
inferior, lazy, dumb, ugly, a behavior problem, untalented, socially
backward.
Those who survive this nightmare background need to take time to sort
out who they really are. It certainly is not what their narcissistic
mother projected on to them. That was coming from her dark unconscious.
Some of them find that quality psychotherapy helps them acknowledge and
experience their pain with a strong therapeutic alliance. Other forms of
healing are learning to quiet the mind, gentle yoga and of course the
use of your many creative gifts. Separating physically and emotionally
from the narcissistic mother is an integral part of the healing process.
Free for the first time in your life, you have only begun to rediscover
yourself and appreciate your true nature. To learn about the
narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Siblings of Narcissistic Brothers--Narcissistic Sisters---Heal and Prevail
Posted by LindaMartinezLewi at 2/14/2012 1:00 PM 
Categories: children of narcissistic fathers, mental health, narcissistic parents, narcissistic mothers, self help. mental health, children of narcissistic parents, narcissistic brother, narcississtic personality, narcissistic personality, abusive relationships, interpersonal relationships., narcissistic siblings, children of narcissistic mothers, narcissistic personality disorder, narcissism, personality disorders, narcissistic daughters, narcissistic sister, family relationships, narcissistic mother
Tags: sibling of narcissistic brother sibling of narcissistic sister narcissistic mother focuses on chosen one narcissistic mother cruel to her children use your creative gifts
Categories: children of narcissistic fathers, mental health, narcissistic parents, narcissistic mothers, self help. mental health, children of narcissistic parents, narcissistic brother, narcississtic personality, narcissistic personality, abusive relationships, interpersonal relationships., narcissistic siblings, children of narcissistic mothers, narcissistic personality disorder, narcissism, personality disorders, narcissistic daughters, narcissistic sister, family relationships, narcissistic mother
Tags: sibling of narcissistic brother sibling of narcissistic sister narcissistic mother focuses on chosen one narcissistic mother cruel to her children use your creative gifts
This is the first time I've felt understood, if not comforted, about what was going on in my house. My mother did not make fun of my intelligence, or talent, per she (except to insist i was VERY AVERAGE) ... but she took the path of making sure people thought i was sick and a slut. That i ruined the family. She made sure everyone on both sides of my family knew i was trouble and vain. While i have had anorexia, bulimia, EDNOS and compulsive eating and exercise issues, (could be "construed" as vain) NOT ... i am not the scourge of the earth.
So i am finding out who i am. Generous, loving, kind, fun, funny, artistic, creative, attractive and fit. So there mom, bite me! And Jeff, drink yourself silly, or don't. It's up to you. I'm your sister, and i can love you if you quit being a hater. I won't accept hate anymore!
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Reading your post inspired me to respond. Once again the narcissist has emotionally and psychologically disabled an adult child. Their cruelty knows no bounds. They are never in the wrong.. as far as they are concerned. They live their lives according to their unspoken rules... so on and so forth. The damage they cause is beyond measure and they always have a scapegoat. In this case YOU were/are the scapegoat; the dumping ground for a multitude of their sins.
I too, grew up with a narcissistic mother and sister, who was the 'golden girl.' Having a double whammy is no fun and between the two of them they have caused so much harm.
Concentrate on yourself... believe that you are deserving of good things... be kind to yourself... associate with people who will respect and accept you for being just you. That's all you have to be... Just YOU. Do NOT let the narcissists in your life have power over you anymore. Remember that you are a child of God, special and unique. Hold your head up and walk away from anyone who abuses you, in doing so, you will empower yourself.
In the true Spirit of sisterhood, good luck. From Grace.
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An appropriate name, Grace. I'm with you. Only the ones who show me respect and love are in my life now. I try to sometimes mend fences, or be a good family member, and it seems to set me back. Godspeed to all of us! xoxo melissa
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