We have increasing numbers of narcissistic personality disorders in our
society today. Being a narcissist, especially if you are successful in
your profession, are attractive, etc. has become almost expected in our
social and work worlds. There are still many individuals with tremendous
integrity whom we can trust and have great characters.
Some of our greatest challenges are with narcissists within our
families. The first move is to learn to recognize these individuals as
narcissistic personality disorders who are not going to change. When you
do the research, you learn to identify them. Even though they are
direct relatives or in-laws---uppermost they are narcissists. Other
family members may continue to make excuses for their cruel, dismissive
and outright abusive behaviors. That doesn't mean that you have to give
them a pass. I have known of family situations where every member except
one, put up with their cruel pathology, were fearful to assert
themselves and berated the one person who was holding the truth. If one
individual out of thousands knows the truth -----it is still the truth.
We live in a time of narcissistic delusion. People are blinded by the
burnished image that the narcissist perpetuates, his/her overwhelming
"charm", all of the promises that he makes and often the worldly success
he has achieved. None of this makes this person a good human being. I
have known of a number of family members who, despite all of the
pressure placed on them, severed the relationship with this toxic human
being. They were castigated, criticized and thought to be strange by
other family members but they had to live with their truth and remove
themselves from this deep level of psychopathology. Don't let other
people pressure you and take away your clear perceptions that a family
members is a destructive narcissist. Keep your safe distance from them
and when necessary remove your contact with them. There is nothing you
can do to change them. They are psychologically poisonous and their
constant inflammatory projections create a corrosive atmosphere. You
deserve to be treated with respect and consideration. What other people
think and many are misguided about this pathology, doesn't matter. What
you know deep inside about the nature of the narcissist in your family
and other narcissists is what counts. Trust what you know is true. Take
care of yourself and those close to you. Protect and cherish one
another. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my
website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Winning the Battle with Narcissistic Family Members
Posted by LindaMartinezLewi at 1/9/2012 8:59 AM 
Categories: married to a narcissist, mental health, narcissistic wife, narcissistic fathers, narcissist, self help. mental health, children of narcissistic parents, narcissistic stepmothers, narcissistic brother, narcississtic personality, narcissistic personality, narcissistic husband, narcissistic personality disorder, narcissistic son-in-law, narcissistic daughter-in-law, interpersonal relationships., narcissistic siblings, children of narcissistic mothers, narcissism, narcissistic mother, narcissistic spouse, personality disorders, married to narcissist, narcissistic mother-in-law, narcissistic rage, narcissistic sister, family relationships, narcissistic mothers, narcissistic family
Tags: narcissistic family members narcissists never change narcissistic in-laws toxic narcissistic projections narcissistic society you hold the truth about narcissistis
Categories: married to a narcissist, mental health, narcissistic wife, narcissistic fathers, narcissist, self help. mental health, children of narcissistic parents, narcissistic stepmothers, narcissistic brother, narcississtic personality, narcissistic personality, narcissistic husband, narcissistic personality disorder, narcissistic son-in-law, narcissistic daughter-in-law, interpersonal relationships., narcissistic siblings, children of narcissistic mothers, narcissism, narcissistic mother, narcissistic spouse, personality disorders, married to narcissist, narcissistic mother-in-law, narcissistic rage, narcissistic sister, family relationships, narcissistic mothers, narcissistic family
Tags: narcissistic family members narcissists never change narcissistic in-laws toxic narcissistic projections narcissistic society you hold the truth about narcissistis
We had to step back from our oldest child this year and not have them over for Thanksgiving or Christmas. In the first few weeks of the separation I missed them terribly and wanted to try and contact them but had told my husband that I wouldn't without him being there. Days turned into weeks and weeks have turned into months. The family members that were home met this one at a restaurant to celebrate their birthday and give them their Christmas presents. We have heard nothing from them since then. My husband says if we hear nothing between now and this years b'day we won't be acknowledging them again.
Our holiday was peaceful. No drama. And I still missed them. As time goes by I'm thinking less and less of them and enjoying the peace more and more. I would say this is a last resort for us. We had tried everything but my heart had taken so many hits I could no longer expose it to more abuse.
Their grandparents are standing with us and telling us that if and when we sort things out with the family member then they will be welcome to extended family gatherings. Until then, not. I appreciate their support so much. They see this one as they truly are and accept our decision to let them go their own way. I truly think the narcissistic one is happier since they do not have to make any effort to be with us now. I know we are more peaceful.
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Thank you for the support once again. Just today I had to experience a same old abuse session with a family member, and I feel drained and terrified when they show their true faces and I feel helpless but I do try to keep my integrity despite their destructive ways. It is very important that I feel understood by somebody who knows what is going on. I am sure you are helpful to many just like me with your mail list. I am focusing on healing myself to the best of my ability.
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I love this post! My mother was a narcissist...I was the one in the family who carried the truth and I suffered for it my whole life. I am now in the process of divorcing my narcissist husband of 10 years. We had a wonderful marriage until I stood up for myself and then violence broke out and I now have a restraining order on him. I have been in therapy for many years and little by little developed a stronger self. It hurt terribly to discover that there is no room for me to have a sense of self while married to a narcissist.
Until I gained awareness about narcissism my whole life was years of ongoing damage control from the abuse they spew out to everyone close to them. I lived my life as the family scapegoat because I held the truth. Then I married a narcissist. Learning more about this personality disorder led me to make many changes in my life. My life is upside down now with all of the changes but I know I am headed to a better place. This site has been so inspiring to me and taught me so much. I recently ordered your book and can't wait to read it.
I had to respond to this post because it's almost a mirror of my life. Thank you!
Hello Nansie,
Thank you for sharing your life story with us. I am so glad that you are headed toward a much better place inside. You have always held and carried the truth. You are wise person. I am sorry that you have suffered because you held the truth.
You are no longer the family scapegoat or the victim of a merciless narcissistic husband. Thank you for the kind remarks.
You now hold the reins of life in your very capable hands. I wish you the very best and thank you for your lovely post.
Warm regards,
Linda
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
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Thank you for your words it good to know I'm not alone.
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