Holidays with relatives can be challenging to say the least, especially
if they are narcissists. Narcissists don't change because there is a
special occasion. They may put on their elaborate mask for a while but
don't be surprised if they attempt to jab your psychological ribs before
the event is over. One of the most important tactics is to never be
alone with a narcissistic in-law for a moment. Make sure that a friend
or relative whom you trust is with you.Narcissists release their most
onerous psychological projections when you are alone with them face to
face.
At many events it is possible to greet the narcissist politely and then
move on to visit the other guests. Do not let them engage you in
conversation. Keeping an ample physical distance from the narcissist is
one of the keys to avoiding any interchanges with your narcissistic
in-laws. Before you leave for the party remind yourself that you are in
charge of your actions, that you deserve to be treated with respect and
consideration by everyone.
There are family constellations in which narcissistic in-laws are so
toxic to other family members, including you. that you might seriously
consider not attending the event. I have heard many stories of very ugly
scenes that have occurred as a result of vituperative interchanges by
narcissistic in-laws and other family members. Narcissists think nothing
of disrupting and spoiling a special family event. They are absolutely
shameless about their behavior. Some narcissists are concerned enough
about their image that they will pull their punches and decide to
behave. However, still avoid close contact with them. They have a way of
getting spitting out barbs, put downs and sarcastic remarks very
quickly that are very wounding. Remember you don't deserve this kind of
abusive treatment by anyone. Remind yourself that this in-law has a
severe personality disorder, that he or she is constantly projecting the
noxious contents of his or her unconscious on to others. These putrid
volleys have nothing to do with you. They are psychological toxins that
have nothing to do with you.
Researching the narcissistic personality disorder gives you the power to
know exactly who they are. This knowledge gives you power. Healthy self
entitlement and self respect should be your continuous companions.
To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com


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