Another dark ploy is that narcissists or their doubles, contact your relatives, in-laws, friends and anyone who will listen to broadcast blatant lies about your character. This doesn't happen in all instances but it is remarkable the lengths these malicious individuals exceed to trash you, putting you at fault and even leading others to believe that you are "crazy." Even people whom you have trusted ---family members---can be flipped to the narcissist's side, especially if he has influence where you have lived and deep pockets.
To successfully deal with these complex and stressful situations as you move toward divorce, be sure you hire an attorney who is not only an expert in
A narcissist (male or female) will wage a custody battle for the sole purpose of trying to psychologically and financially decimate the former spouse. For the narcissist, revenge is sweet. It's where they live in their delusional treacherous minds.
Surround yourself with individuals whom you can trust completely and who believe and understand the horrible ordeal you are going through. Be good to yourself. Know that you hold the truth. You are very wise. If some others around you don't believe your life story, don't associate with them. Don't talk about your personal life. Be protective of your privacy. Another dirty offensive is to make you look "crazy" . This is so cruel and sadistic. Know that you are the sane one who is holding the truth. You are entitled to be treated with respect. You deserve it. Pay close attention to your intuition. It will always reveal the truth to you and help you to maintain a sense of steadiness and calm. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, Online stores, etc.
Email:lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
This article is spot on. I went through hell with my N ex-wife when I tried to modify our existing court order. She spent in excess of 30,000 hiring private investigators and attorneys fees trying to keep my son from me. Needless to say, she lost, but it was eye opening.
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In the midst of a divorce from a 7 year relationship with a high-level narcissist. Wow your book was a life saver! Thank you! Thank you for your dedication to this mental illness. The narcissist can make the sane one feel "crazy". Understanding the illness has centered me and brought me back from his proposal that I am "crazy". Thank Dr. Martinez-Lewi
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I've been through this from my mother several times; the most recent being unbelievable lies to people in the local area who are clients of mine. I've found the best way forward has been to completely ignore it and when someone asks me about something she's told them I smile and say "things aren't always as they seem; I'm sure you're old and wise enough to know there's more than one side to every story". If people really pursue it I do say to them I will have to seek legal advice if she continues to spread such malicious rumours about me. Its been a life saver to realise after 37 years that there are others in similar situations with their families to me. I've walked away completely; its so so hard I feel an enormous sense of loss for something I never had - a family! But on the other hand I feel free and peace that I never had before. Thanks for this blog - its places like this that help us to heal x
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Wow, this was like reading my life from the past couple years, from the custody dispute out of spite, to making it seem like I'm crazy, to turning even some easily manipulated family members against me. Thank you for this, at least I don't feel so alone (or crazy) anymore. I'm still struggling to learn to live with this destructive person in my life.
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