Drop the Narcissists-Create the Life That You Deserve
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Do not live by fear. I know this is very difficult if you have been under the psychological and financial yoke of the narcissists for decades or even beginning as children in a narcissistic family. The narcissistic personality is not going to change. You can dance to every tune that they play and it will never be good enough. Some spouses stay with the narcissist for the lifestyle, for the prestige of "sharing" their lives with someone who is notable and financially very successful. When you live with a narcissist there is no sharing. THEY TAKE! And you give, sometimes more than you can bear. What this kind of relationship does to your children is very destructive. It tells them that one person can harm another emotionally and psychologically and have complete control in a household with no mercy and empathy and that is OK. You who know who the narcissist really is must come forward and tell the truth by your act of separating yourself in some significant way from this highly disruptive and disturbed person. Forget those, including relatives who are pressuring you to stay with the narcissist. He or she only shows his good side to them. Also they don't want to hear anything that is negative. They are too accustomed to not being capable of dealing with the truth. They live in delusion. As long as people's lives have a gilded image on the outside, that fine with them. They are not interested in what goes on, the nightmarish scenarios that take place every day inside the confines of a house where those victimized by narcissists are held psychologically captive. If you hold the truth, that is all that matters even if hundreds of others are deluded. We live in a time when the society is ready and even thrilled by the narcissistic style. The externals of life have replaced what the heart and intuition know to be the truth. Hold on to the truth no matter who disagrees or tries to whittle you down. They are seeing through a glass darkly. Know this and remain strong in your perception.
Strengthen yourself. Learn to detach and separate from the narcissist through quieting your nervous system and your mind. Find routine and practices that help you achieve a state of calmness. Do this regularly. Find practices that work for you: gentle yoga with emphasis on the breath, various forms of meditation, beginning with short period of meditation and nonjudgmental attitudes, walking and other cardiovascular exercise that increases in your stamina and vitality, drives the engine of the immune system and raises your moods. Find your creative path---Is it journaling, gardening, blogging, podcasting, photographing Nature around you, cooking---You will know what area of creativity is calling you. Watch yourself progress. The self is always evolving and moving forward. We provide it with the right environment inside and growth takes place. This is a natural process that we experience throughout our lives. You will find others who seek and know the truth.These individuals are invaluable. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
TELEPHONE CONSULTATION:UNITED STATES AND INTERNATIONAL
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, bookstores online, etc.
Posted by LindaMartinezLewi at 7/24/2011 2:53 PM 
Categories: married to a narcissist, naricissism, mental health, narcissistic parents, narcissistic fathers, self help. mental health, children of narcissistic parents, narcissistic mother, narcississtic personality, narcissistic personality, narcissistic husband, interpersonal relationships, abusive relationships, narcissistic wife, female narcissists, narcissistic personality disorder, narcissism, personality disorders, married to narcissist, family relationships, narcissistic mothers, narcissistic family
Tags: narcissist does not own you do not live by fear separate from narcissist narcissists devastate families strengthening your bodymind
Categories: married to a narcissist, naricissism, mental health, narcissistic parents, narcissistic fathers, self help. mental health, children of narcissistic parents, narcissistic mother, narcississtic personality, narcissistic personality, narcissistic husband, interpersonal relationships, abusive relationships, narcissistic wife, female narcissists, narcissistic personality disorder, narcissism, personality disorders, married to narcissist, family relationships, narcissistic mothers, narcissistic family
Tags: narcissist does not own you do not live by fear separate from narcissist narcissists devastate families strengthening your bodymind
//Strengthen yourself. Learn to detach and separate from the narcissist through quieting your nervous system and your mind//
This really "IS" the key to recovering from a narcissist. Once we are strong, we can discern who is a narcissist and resist getting involved with them. They really are "takers."
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How very true. THEY TAKE,and can take until you have nothing left to give to anybody,until your life's energy is almost depleted. In my case,as a health care professional,whose job it is to help people, I feel that I was an easy target for my mother-in-law. I danced to her tune for almost 40 years! It never even occurred to me that I was being manipulated.
A taker needs a giver, and I've discovered that when one finds the courage to stop giving,the taker moves on. I shall do only what is absolutely necessary,and if I waver, I shall think of the verb in the title of Dr. Linda's
book...and Freedom is beautiful.
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They really do work on your nervous system. I am a basket case. i used to be peaceful. It is because they expect perfection and are constantly watching you and critiquing. I will be able to recognize one when I see one again. I will never go down this road again. It has been hell for seven years, and it seems their pathology gets worse with time. My husband (NPD)is constantly saying he loves me and then will go on a full fledged verbal assault within minutes of those words for no reason at all. If he can't find anything to rage about, he will create something. It is a nightmare. There are only victims. I am taking back my power and my life. Thing is...it must be done carefully, or they will destroy you. I would have left years ago, had this not been the case - knowing that they have no limits and no moral compass. I will be at a place very soon where I will can run away" without him being able to destoy me fully. They are masters at "breaking confidences". If they know something that might destroy you professionally, they will tell it to your greatest adversary and join forces with them. They are immoral monsters and destroyers.
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my-in laws are narcissist, they pretend to be their for you but its all on a conditonal level, they are getting old now 83 / 86 and they are worse then ever, fortunately I have always detached from them, but they do make me crazy for a day after, I only see them once a year, and I really think I will be seeing them less. My husband agrees with me and he has done therapy on himself and broke away emotionally.
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My soul was depleted and my spirit felt broken. My fiancé at the time was a smart handsom surgeon. Our relationship started out kind and innocent and then life happened. His verbal abuse become ever so present in our relationship. He would criticize how much money I made, my choice to wear makeup, my friends, and what I decided to wear. I felt torn between the man I fell in love with and the monster that would rear it's ugly head behind closed doors. It was 4 weeks before our wedding. He had been drinking and I made a simple request at the house. A simple request turned into destruction of my property and his hands wrapped around my neck compressing every last bit of air I had in my lungs. I was looking into his eyes and didn't recognize this man. His hands were meant for healing and here they were breaking my soul. He restrained long enough for a charge of false imprisonment and 2 other felony charges. His words and addictions were deal breakers for me. One would like to believe in the good in others with this personality disorder but please take it from me... things do not change. Please reclaim your life and accept the joy and beauty life this world can offer. I was at my weakest point when I left him but I thank G-d everyday I survived his abuse and I heal more and more as the days pass. Nurture your soul and reclaim the love that was meant for you.
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