Covert Narcissists---Get Wise to Their Acts, Baits and Incessant Cruelties
Covert narcissists are among the most difficult to decipher. The can appear to be shy. They are excellent method actors, pretending to be your best friend. Covert Narcissists are magnanimous. They are always watching to get the inside track on you. Most people don't notice any of these behaviors until these disguised enemies bare their sharp teeth.
Covert narcissists come on treacly, sugary, dependent, overprotective of you and caring. But you begin to notice here and there they are planting small digs at you. They dig and then come back to be your best friend, your confidante. They play the confidante role to the hilt. This is a big red flag. As you look carefully at the covert narcissist, they display no genuine empathy. If you recall clearly, you now know they wanted something from you from the beginning. They were obsessed with taking your power and putting themselves in your place.
Covert narcissists are incessantly cruel. They lie in the weeds. When you are the most vulnerable they strike with extended claws. Never share how you feel with a covert narcissist---that you are down, having to struggle emotionally or financially. They will find these times to demean and humiliate you. Once they have you where they want you the covert narcissist quickly discards you. They believe they've gotten rid of you and annihilated you. This pleases them. They are at the top of the heap; you are at the bottom. You now see them clearly with artifice or mask. They are incapable of genuine feelings or empathy. They are cold. They plot all of the time, using their cunning to stalk their human prey. Covert narcissists are highly competitive. They will fight you to the death psychologically. They are incredible competitors. Don't let them get the better of you or any part of you. Learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth. Assert your own power, mental steadiness and your sense of self entitlement. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Covert narcissists come on treacly, sugary, dependent, overprotective of you and caring. But you begin to notice here and there they are planting small digs at you. They dig and then come back to be your best friend, your confidante. They play the confidante role to the hilt. This is a big red flag. As you look carefully at the covert narcissist, they display no genuine empathy. If you recall clearly, you now know they wanted something from you from the beginning. They were obsessed with taking your power and putting themselves in your place.
Covert narcissists are incessantly cruel. They lie in the weeds. When you are the most vulnerable they strike with extended claws. Never share how you feel with a covert narcissist---that you are down, having to struggle emotionally or financially. They will find these times to demean and humiliate you. Once they have you where they want you the covert narcissist quickly discards you. They believe they've gotten rid of you and annihilated you. This pleases them. They are at the top of the heap; you are at the bottom. You now see them clearly with artifice or mask. They are incapable of genuine feelings or empathy. They are cold. They plot all of the time, using their cunning to stalk their human prey. Covert narcissists are highly competitive. They will fight you to the death psychologically. They are incredible competitors. Don't let them get the better of you or any part of you. Learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth. Assert your own power, mental steadiness and your sense of self entitlement. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Posted by LindaMartinezLewi at 6/15/2011 11:46 AM 
Categories: married to a narcissist, female narcissists, mental health, narcissistic parents, narcissistic daughters, narcissistic fathers, covert narcissists, self help. mental health, children of narcissistic parents, narcissistic mother, narcississtic personality, married to narcissist, narcissistic personality, narcissistic husband, narcissistic partner, abusive relationships, narcissistic wife, personality disorders, narcissistic siblings, concealed narcissist, children of narcissistic mothers, narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder, narcissistic spouse, business relationships, interpersonal relationships, narcissistic rage, family relationships, narcissistic mothers, narcissistic family
Tags: covert narcissist cunning covert narcissists clever deceivers covert narcissists difficult to identify
Categories: married to a narcissist, female narcissists, mental health, narcissistic parents, narcissistic daughters, narcissistic fathers, covert narcissists, self help. mental health, children of narcissistic parents, narcissistic mother, narcississtic personality, married to narcissist, narcissistic personality, narcissistic husband, narcissistic partner, abusive relationships, narcissistic wife, personality disorders, narcissistic siblings, concealed narcissist, children of narcissistic mothers, narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder, narcissistic spouse, business relationships, interpersonal relationships, narcissistic rage, family relationships, narcissistic mothers, narcissistic family
Tags: covert narcissist cunning covert narcissists clever deceivers covert narcissists difficult to identify
It amazes me that someone can put words to my life story and to know that I am not alone. I wish I understood this much sooner in my life. They play with you like a cat with a mouse. They don't want to kill you but they harm you nonetheless. I still can't comprehend what "motivates" this type of narcissist. What could possibly be fulfilling about having to court supply this way and how do narcissists sleep at night?
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Hi Thank you for your blogs I read the one about the children too. I just left my diagnosed NPD husband and the damage to our daughter is going to take years to heal. She and I are both in therapy! She is 12 and does not want anything to do with her dad who can blame her?
We are aware now of his mental illness and because of this he has almost no contact we are not fun anymore to abuse!!!!The more the NPD info gets out there the better we can protect ourselves and our children.
Now I realize my mom is a NPD this insanity was familiar I had moved (Distance therapy) 2000 miles away from here 20 years ago fell in love with the false self of my husband I always thought he was 2 people now I know what it was
boy my eyes are open and can never be closed to the narcissistic abuse again! Keep on blogging
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interesting comment. I too married a N man. Upon his abandoning me after four short months of marriage with an "email" I was in complete and utter SHOCK. I googled "split personality" and that is how I learned about NPD.
I'm so glad I found these blogs. This is my very favorite blog site for information about NPD. THANK YOU!
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They do lie in wait and set you up for the psychological kill. I have even noticed that after my husband has said something incredibly cruel and vicious, he will stare at me, almost with a smile, to see how badly he has hurt me. If I am not visibly destroyed, he will continue. These people are evil.
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My ex did this to me. It was then that I realised that he is pure evil. It is gut-wrenching.
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WOW~ I have been under the grasp of a EXTREMELY NPD Mother, and GRANDFATHER... Mother had me ALWAYS holding such guilt & STRESS and I didn't ever know to the EXTREME extent as I KNEW she wasn't normal but I was so manipulated into her control... AND CONSTANT GUILT TRIPS...AND ME OWING HER EVERYTHING, she cannot think of another EX:I broke my arm in two she would say,,,"THATS NOTHING" you should be me a Mother with an ungrateful son who loves to hurt his own mother ... COWBOY UP...You don't know pain"...ITS ONLY HER,HER,HER, and NO DISAGREEMENT. She belittled me and used my "dumb poor father" as her puppet. And still does...17 years later divorced...lol... When I was 17... I RAN~ & escaped her... AND MARRIED... A WOMAN whom was my everything but... SOON AFTER MARRIAGE STARTED REALIZING...SHE WAS NOT the woman I married... SHE IS VOID OF LOVE OR FEELINGS... one OF NO CONCIENCE whom I COULD NEVER KEEP HAPPY...I TRIED TO BUY HER THE WORLD... NEVER THOT OF MY SELF ~WOW~ just ITS SO MUCH I GOTTA STOP HERE soon short. I AM SO DEPRESED now as for what I LET THESE WOMEN DO TO ME... USE ME AS THEIR TOYS AND DOORMATS TO mentally TORTURE...I LET MY WIFE STEAL EVERYTHING, cheat, not let me touch MY OWN MONEY and NEVER DID ANYTHING BUT BEGG HER TO LET ME TRY HARDER...SHE IS ILL AS... I HAVE FULL CUSTODY OF MY AMAZING 6 year old IDENTICAL TWIN SONS WHO ARE MY ENTIRE WORLD... And MY ONE GOAL FROM THEIR BIRTH WAS TO SHIELD them from ALL THE DAMAGE & HURT THAT WAS DONE TO ME...AND MY WIFE USED THIS LOVE TO ABUSE ME AS SHE WOULD THREATEN TO LEAVE (us) if I even didn't agree with HER any any form. (as the thought of my kids being abandoned at the time was too much to bare)I AM SUCH A SENSITIVE MAN AND HURT MORE, & FEEL MORE THAN MOST...I NOW KNOW...LOVE ISN'T SELFISH and I AM WORTHY OF WHAT I GIVE SO MUCH OF TOO.I AM SURE OF THAT...YET WHY I FELT I HAD NO SELF WORTH IS NOW APPARENT. And what keeps me going is MY AMAZING SONS and the philosaphy that I CANT DWELL ON THE PAST or ANYTHING I CANNOT CHANGE~or hold guilt and be forevor in debt for my mothers stretchmark I gave her. BUT ONLY LEARN FROM IT AND MAKE SURE WE LIVE A NORMAL HEALTHY LIFE... I DO HAVE A LIFE, IT'S MINE & I AM "LIMITLESS" of what I can do. I confer with psychologists reguarly as for ALWAYS MY KIDS BEST INTEREST IS A MUST. I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND PEOPLE...THAT CAN DO THIS TO THEIR KIDS...I HAVE THEM AND I WOULD NEVER do anything but LOVE THEM and support them whatevor they do...I have a extremely high IQ and am "LIMITLESS" to success... just needed to deal and let out some of surpressed damage, and NOT MAKE EXCUSES FOR THEM(they should be shamed) yet they don't feel that.THEY ARE without guilt. I DON'T FEEL NO SELF WORTH & STILL & ALWAYS WILL the need to protect everyone I VALUE BUT KNOW ONLY KNOW caring about myself ISN'T a selfish deed. TO BE THE BEST DAD I CAN BE...IT's a MUST. ~Johnny
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i have an only child whom i love and protected iuntil i became involved with drugs then i left her with my father while i did time. i finally became a responsible individual working while attending school. i saved money and worked at every opportunity. my daughter came to live with me with my 4 grandchildren. i would notice the way she would laugh when i hurt and how she would exclude me pictures with my grandchildren, even when i asked her to take one my head would be cut off. i just brushed it off, but later when i stopped giving her everything she wanted all the hatred came out of her and she began or continued to steal from me every chance she got. i moved away after she kept trying to break in to possibly kill me. i after 8mo. i let her know where i lived hoping things would change.my house was buglerized and so was my car. My mother had already been stealing from me while i was at my lowest point in life and my daughter continues. My credit card info as well as my bank info is missing.After i got her a job where i worked, i ended up being let go from my job and she is the managers pet. she is now "the princess" with my grandfather while he hates me. I am happy that she is close to my grandfather,but not the way it was
done by telling lies about me. i
was once his favorite. my
manager had an attitude with me
before i was let go. i moved from
the apt. i thought i would never
leave. Now i see the narrcisim in
my mother and my daughter. My
mother i had already known to a
lesser degree but now she seems to be getting worse with age. i am now planning.g to move far away for the 1st time. i cannot live like this. i am broken and trying to heal.
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Hi Johnny, Your sons are very lucky!! you have done the right thing, you have protected them from a damaged narcissist. They will have a good stress free life with a parent who truly loves them. Its so weird how we end up in that weird Z dimension of ending up with narcissist partners or friends after being raised by one of these malignant mothers. I have had the narcissist non mother experience, oh boy ,where do you begin!!! Strange how they turn our fathers into empty shells. I realized how evil my NPD non mum was when my leg was badly broken. No sympathy empathy but bucket loads of pure verbal abuse and neglect. Ive raised my son on my own, but his had nothing but unconditional love. His a happy secure person. I wish i wised up sooner or else i wouldn't have got so hurt.
Keep strong and be very careful who you get involved with in the future. We seem to be programmed, but your wise to it hopefully. Stay strong and aware for your boys sake. You all deserve to live in peace. Take care Jane
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