Narcissistic men are always on the prowl, the search for the perfect
woman. She must be beautiful, even ultra-gorgeous, adoring of him,
compliant and willing to be manipulated and follow his orders. There are
many women in this category who have made this decision to put their
lives and destinies in absolute alignment with a narcissistic partner.
The psychological truth about the nature of narcissistic men and their
attitude toward women is the reverse from the image that is perpetuated.
When the narcissistic mother chooses a son as the perfect child, the
answer to all of her dreams, this is fateful for her child's life and
for every woman with whom this budding narcissist will have a
partnership or marriage. There is a deep psychopathology between
narcissistic mothers and their chosen sons. Although there is no literal
seduction in most cases of the son, the narcissistic mother is erotically and
psychologically fused with him. In these family constellations, the
husband has been neutered by the narcissistic wife. These women keep
their spouses around for image purposes and the lifestyle and secure
financial arrangements.
The narcissistic mother does not make a distinction that he is separate from her. She possesses
him like an indispensable object. Architect Frank Lloyd Wright's mother referred
to her son as her Prince. This is the classic role of the chosen
narcissistic son. The enmeshed son is flattered by this form of
adoration and feels an enhanced ego as a result of his mother's
extraordinary attentions. Beneath the surface in the unconscious the narcissistic son despises his mother for
harnessing him to her. Another byproduct of this use of the son as an
object of adoration and psychological imprisonment is the narcissist's
hatred of women in general which originates from their fear of women.
Much of this comes from the primal narcissistic mother's pulling the
puppet strings of her son's life. He has become her
creation.
Inside these narcissistic sons are empty, feel restless, enraged and
worthless. They have never been allowed to develop as authentic human
beings. The psychological seduction by the narcissistic mother foments
a hatred of her that lies deep in the unconscious of the narcissistic
son.The narcissistic mother never allows her son to become a real man.
She severely damages his manhood with her erotic promise of complete psychological
fusion. This is devastating to the narcissist. The emasculated
narcissistic son spends his life taking advantage of women--wooing them,
seducing them, discarding them--one right after the other. He cheats on
women, treats them with disrespect, uses them as objects and eclipses
their lives. The narcissistic mother's damage to her son lives long
after her in the ravaging effects the narcissist has on every woman that
he brings into his life. Learn to identify and deal with narcissistic
men and narcissistic women. Visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com


You know I was raised by a malignant narcissistic mother . Good god how she damaged me . I recall the verbal abuse . sissy , you will never be the man your father is . Very painful and degrading for a boy to hear this from their own mother . Of course then I didnt know she was sick .Of course I became depressed over the constant humiliation . My dad was not much better although he fits the description of being absent . I have another bizzare aspect to my story I will share at another time because I do not want to deviate from the issue at hand . The issue being when I suffered so much pain at the hands of this ill woman why as an adult male do I seek out the verbal abuse and humiliation from this type of woman ? I know when I meet a woman I like and I think about maybe approaching her with a degree of caution . say someone at they gym that kind of knows me . Anyway I will dismiss it . I will tell myself that she probably is already seeing a real man . Then I reroute that energy into seeking a relationship with a dminating emasculating type woman . Somehow it feels comfortable and safe for me . I struggle with this often . It is crippling and painful and confusing . I am sure my mother set this up . she didnt even want me to date in high school but I did . Its like i have to be loyal to her .Where can I find some help ? Books ?
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