The narcissist with his/her elaborate image of smooth self confidence, excessive self entitlement and an ability to manipulate others to bend to his will, appears to moving ahead in life at full speed. Continually in restless movement, making one business deal after another, influencing social and professional associates to invest in his projects, having a list of followers who admire and praise him, one would think that he/she is progressing at warp speed. If we judge the narcissist by his level of activity, it appears that he is always accelerating toward greater success.
Inside the narcissist's psyche, this individual is a false deluded self. The real self of the narcissist is regressed back to early childhood. When we observe the narcissist at very close range, we are aware of this profound regression.This is evident from their attitudes and behaviors. The narcissistic rage that pours forth from them, the lack of psychological boundaries that overstep respect for others, the ruthlessness to obtain what he wants and must have at great price to others, the complete lack of empathy, the constant acts of deception, the lack of conscience---all of these traits tell us about the narcissist's true nature. The narcissistic personality is a fixed personality disorder that is most unlikely to changed. At their core they are incapable in getting in touch with their authentic selves and therefore of evolving and moving toward psychological growth.
Those who have been involved with the narcissist---as children of a narcissistic parent, siblings of narcissistic brothers and sisters, married to and divorced by narcissistic spouses---have experienced a horrendous long ordeal at the mercy of the narcissist's psychopathology. As you move each day to heal yourself, you are freed to grow and thrive in every aspect of your being: psychologically, mentally, physically and spiritually (in the way you define this concept) You have fought to maintain an authentic sense of self. The path ahead without the narcissist is welcoming you to now move forward with your life with renewed purpose, the flowering of your unique gifts, the freeing of your emotional expression, a sense of mental spaciousness and inner quietness. You are growing, moving forward every moment. Your horizons are expanded and open to every possibility. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
You are Evolving---The Narcissist is Regressing
Posted by LindaMartinezLewi at 12/14/2010 11:34 AM 
Categories: mental health, business relationships, interpersonal relationships, narcissistic personality, divorcing your narcissist, personality disorders, physical health, narcissistic rage, narcissistic spouse, narcissistic personality disorder, narcissism, narcissistic siblings, abusive relationships, married to a narcissist, narcissistic mothers, narcissistic parents
Tags: narcissist is regressingexcessive self entitlement psychological growthfalse deluded self
Categories: mental health, business relationships, interpersonal relationships, narcissistic personality, divorcing your narcissist, personality disorders, physical health, narcissistic rage, narcissistic spouse, narcissistic personality disorder, narcissism, narcissistic siblings, abusive relationships, married to a narcissist, narcissistic mothers, narcissistic parents
Tags: narcissist is regressingexcessive self entitlement psychological growthfalse deluded self
This is what I am looking forward to >>
"...move forward with your life with renewed purpose, the flowering of your unique gifts, the freeing of your emotional expression, a sense of mental spaciousness and inner quietness."
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It is SO TRUE. In fact, when you get to the other side of it, you may even be GRATEFUL for all that person put you through because you found a NEW and TRUE YOU!
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That describes my father to a tee! Not me but he projects it all onto me but i finally know who i am and if anything i am the total opposite. I am too nice too honest and never learned to protect myself but i am finding my way, i hope!!!! He is so manipulative and powerful it is scary at times but at least I know who i am and i have great friends who know as well!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank God!!!!!!!!
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Speaking truth to the narcissist's alleged power is the surest way to incite their rage. Once you've proven that you've moved on, they can't seem to accept or fathom that they have no more influence upon you, that you see the emperor's new clothes, and that the adoration no longer exists.
Five years ago my ex-fiance refused to go to counseling with me [didn't realize he was the source of my depression], dumped me when I was in Kenya and sick with a dangerously high fever, made me feel bad about myself and as if I'm the reason we failed, led me on for a whole year to believe we would reconcile -- then I found out he'd lied and cheated and had another girlfriend [with whom he brought into my home/bed while I was out of the country]. Today, he sent me a Facebook friend request, then turned around and called me a "c*nt." I can only laugh at the pathetic hilarity, immaturity and absurdity of his narcissistic rages now, and how the more I exude my happiness, confidence, inner peace, and total independence from him, the more ridiculously he behaves, resorting to name-calling, manipulation, disparaging me to others, and silent treatment -- even from the infrequent exchanges and great distance between us.
Depending on how one deals with it, enduring and getting past a relationship with a narcissist can be the most empowering and liberating experience ever. They are spiritual chupacabras and feed off of others' souls, most likely the ones closest to them. What you think is love is not really love to them. It is gasoline for their self-serving ego.
I want to thank him personally for all the drama and pain I went through. The narcissist may temporarily break your spirit, but not your soul. When you accept that you ALLOWED it to happen and that it is up to YOU to rebuild yourself, the broken pieces WILL come back together into a whole that was greater than before because it is healthily and selfishly and deservedly all about loving YOU. You CANNOT change someone, you can only change YOUR boundaries. Narcissists will point to all their accomplishments as justification or excuses for their behavior. They are full of double-standards and hypocrisies. They cannot handle strong personalities in their intimate/personal life because it challenges them. They prey on the insecure and blame you for everything, including their own faults. Now I easily sense emotional sadism a mile away and keep it moving.
I've not read your book, but I endorse it because I've lived it, and everything I've read in your blog is spot on with my experience. And I've nurtured a greater empathy and intimacy with others after enduring such covert lack of humanity for over two tumultuously emotional years [It was initially as good as it was eventually BAD!]. Good friends, defining your true spiritual self, and being extremely gentle with oneself are utmost in the healing journey!
I met Maya Angelou once, and she gave me this advice:
"LIVE A GOOD LIFE. IT IS THE SWEETEST REVENGE!!"
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Wow. That one hit the nail on the head. I am two years into a seemingly endless divorce with a narcissist. One of the reasons I didn't leave a long time ago was because I knew divorcing him would be ugly and treacherous--and it is to put it mildly. But it is so TRUE that I am now free to move toward the life that I deserve.
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