Revenge-The Narcissist's Bruised Ego
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The word revenge originates from the French--revanche. It means to take vengeance, to apply punishment that is destructive to the other. The noun revenge has been with us since the 1540's.
Narcissist's expect everyone, through their words, gestures and behaviors to mirror them perfectly. If you fail to do this in their eyes (and they are always looking for imperfection in others not themselves) it causes an unconscious bruise in their brittle egos. Even the smallest mistake or what the narcissist perceives as your mistake will result in the spewing of dark rage. If you do not go along to get along with them perfectfly and buck them, you are bumping up against an inflexible grandiose ego and there will be hell to pay.
People get into trouble calling someone a narcissist (especially if they are one). This revelation does not have a positive response from the narcissist. He or she fumes and discounts what you are saying as a lie and an insult. I don't recommend doing this. Keep your own thoughts to yourself in these instances. Ultimately, the choice is yours. Learn to recognize the narcissist very quickly through intense study---this is well worth your time and concentration. You will be able to feel the narcissist's energy field and vibration and step away from the narcissistic emotional and psychological juggernaut.
Appreciate your own healthy ego--solid and flexible like a beautiful palm tree that swings and sways in the winds, taking in what Nature brings. It bends with grace. Unlike the narcissist's grandiose ego which is brittle and splitting at times, yours is free to move and grow with strength. adaptability and creativity. To learn more about the many facets and faces of the narcissistic personality, visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the Book: amazon.com


I am currently experiencing the attack of a narcisist sister. Her forum is Facebook. When do they stop???
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Never!!!How can they have a dysfunctional personality they do not see things such as you and I. However as I discuss with my children if you are playing Xbox and do not touch the controller what happens and they say well the game ends, it's over. This is an example of what I do with my mother who is a narcissist I do not engage. Your sister could not argue with herself and will not get satisfaction if she cannot control you with her behaviors, therefore her narcissism does not work. Live life without keeping her opinions and thoughts in mind.
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Great advice. I need to take it. I have always worried about her opinions. I need to reprogram the way I think when dealing with her. Thanks for your time. I am printing your comment out and keeping it close by. Maybe if I read it enough I can change because God only knows she won't! Thanks, Ronda
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