There is more than enough pain to go around when you have been raised with a narcissistic sibling. Often the emotional turmoil is more than doubled if the mother is a narcissist as well. I have heard from a number of individuals who have lived with this strong dose of psychopathology and lived to tell the ugly tale. One of the most prominent life stories is the mother/daughter narcissistic duo. Those who have suffered under these intolerable emotional conditions contact me about the oppression under which they were raised. The narcissistic mother rules over the household. The husband/father is either out of the picture or has been marginalized by his wife. Mother chooses one daughter as her perfect reflection. This daughter is doted on, waited on, allowed to treat the other children in the family like dirt (sometimes, including the father) and grows up without conscience or limits.

In some cases the narcissistic daughter terrorizes the other siblings with sadistic games and intimidations. The victimized child is threatened that telling mother or father about the "punishments" inflicted on her by this sibling will lead to dire consequences. The afflicted child has no one with whom to share her dilemma. She must bear this burden alone. In other cases the mother/daughter duo regularly project their toxic psychological contents on the discarded child who has been labeled as a misfit and a burden. Growing up this way is like living in a prison where there is constant danger, threats and punishments that can be perpetrated at any moment. Unpredicatibility is the norm. Children who grow up under these circumstances are often frightened and their nervous systems are chronically in "fight or flight" mode.

I have been amazed by the number of individuals who survive these pathological duos. I have profound  respect and feelings of deep caring for all  that they have suffered and endured. It is encouraging to hear from so many survivors of the narcissistic mother/daughter duo who have prevailed to build their own lives, to appreciate their unique individuality and creative gifts.These survivors are empathic and give back to others throughout their lives.

The road back from these childhoods is long and arduous but these great souls have kept faith with themselves, starting from early childhood. They were determined to maintain the essence of themselves intact and whole. What an incredible victory and an inspiration for all of us. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.

Telephone Consultation: United States and International

Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life

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Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com