Do It My Way or Off With Your Head
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This statement of "blind fury" by the Queen of Hearts in Alice in Wonderland reminds me so keenly of the way narcissists operate especially with those closest to them-spouses, ex-spouses and children. The Queen of Hearts (what a name for this rage-filled creature) is continually repeating a death sentence decree at the slightest provocation. Narcissists don't need someone to make a mistake before they start the threats. Intimidation and threat always hang in the air behind closed doors with a narcissist when you get to know them. Unfortunately, many spouses decide to stay and continue to be besieged and abused by the Queen of Hearts Narcissist.
Narcissists are always in a state of fury even when they are smiling, grinning and it appears that they cannot become more unctious. Never be fooled by such false charm, meaningless promises, fake empathy.
The blind fury that you experience in the narcissist each day is not going to lessen let alone disappear. Narcissists don't mellow with age. Inside they are feeling more desperate because they despise looking or feeling older more than anyone else and the full unconscious psychological weight of a life of ruthless cruelty has built up and is boiling over--It is being projected on to you at full force.
Many choose to remove themselves from the sadistic games of the Red Queen or King Narcissist. Like Alice in Wonderland it is a tale of delusion and artifice. You can awaken from this lavish nightmare and enter a quieter, safer, more productive and creative pathway. Take back your fate, your destiny. Think your own thoughts, create your unique dreams. Appreciate the beauty of your own mind, senses, imagination, sense of humor, spontaneity. Sign up for the self care essentials: real friends who can be completely trusted and loyal, physical exercise and health supporting nutrition, healing sleep, doing what you love. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Categories: self help, narcissism, mental health, interpersonal relationships
Tags: your own mind sense of humor blind fury creativity abusive spontaneity fake empathy false charm
How very true this is! The rage expressed when I refused to abort our third child continues (40 yrs later) and, oh, my, how angry he was when I would not go to a swingers party!! How much more calm it is now that I'm long out of that relationship!! Better his current wife than me, for sure, to endure him growing older, unable to attract new and different sexual partners as he always has before, lying about it, of course. He's a consummate liar, still!
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