Narcissists-Cold,Cunning,Calculating
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Narcissists appear to be very friendly. They are often very smooth socially and are masterful at dealing with people on many levels. Many narcissists magnify individuals to them. This is disingenious. The narcissist puts on an act that is very believeable. But this is not real but a practiced act of a false self.
Narcissists are very different on the inside than they are on the outside. There are number of humane qualities in the narcissist that are lacking: Narcissists have no compassion--they are unable to genuinely care deeply about another. Narcisissts have a complete lack of empathy, they are incapable of putting themselves emotionally and psychologically in another's place. Narcissists tell jokes well and love to regale people with endless stories but they have no real sense of humor. They cannot be self effacing and perceive the absurdity of the human situation with humor and lightness. Narcissists expresses pseudo emotions not real ones. They are not able to be spontaneous--in the moment. These indivdiuals are always acting, playing pretend. With a narcissist you cannot place your trust. They will always betray you. Be aware that the narcissist is a false self. They detest those who are close to one another and can share genuine feelings of love and compassion. To protect yourself from the narcissist and remove yourself from their path, study the narcissistic personality disorder in all of its facets. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Categories: self help, narcissism, mental health, interpersonal relationships
from Dr. Linda's post-- "The narcissist puts on an act that is very believable. But this is not real but a practiced act of a false self."
This is so true. Even before I understood narcissism, I frequently commented to my husband that my N-sister behaved like a chameleon. It was like she "became" the person she was dating. For example, if the guy was into fly fishing, she would suddenly take up the sport of fly fishing. If the guy was a Yankees fan, she would suddenly be the biggest Yankees fan on the planet. She even went so far as to wear a Star of David once when the guy she was dating was Jewish, and she's been a Protestant all her life! She's been married three times and her lifestyle changed significantly to accommodate the customs and culture of her current partner.
She's now in pursuit of Husband No. 4, but I don't know the "candidate" because she lives hundreds of miles away and I have been trying to distance myself psychologically and emotionally from her for the past six months, so I don't show any interest in her.
It's just creepy how narcissists don the mask of their intended victim. She always wore her "I'm your dear sister" mask around me-- but only until she got me where she wanted me. Then the mask fell and she proceeded to humiliate me in front of others, or withheld her attention or affection to make sure I knew the pecking order.
At first I grieved the loss of the relationship. She is my only sibling, so naturally it hurt to give up on her. But then I realized I could never love the real her because there was no "real" her-- only the illusion of a sister created by a very disturbed magician. ~Donna
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