Narcissists are on a path to destroy everyone in their wake, with the exception of those who are their Chosen Ones of the moment.  If you can't deliver for the narcissist---money, sex, public acclaim, enhance his image, increase his/her worldly power, you are of no use to the narcissist, even if you are a close family member. Narcissists throw people away as easily as a child discarding a candy wrapper.

Sometimes, it is better to be discarded by a narcissist than to be taken on by them as their enemy. This is especially brutal in custody battles over children during a divorce or even in extended dustups that occur many years after the divorce. Many narcissists get a thrill out of suing others. They hire narcissistic, ruthless attorneys to destroy your case. The justice and morality of  your issue is of no consequence. What makes a difference is raw power and the ability of the narcissist through his lawyers to defeat you. This happens more often than you might think. We live in a society where big legal guns outmaneuver the just, moral legal cause too often. When a narcissist has beaten you in court, this is a huge ego enhancement, a narcissistic supply that he wears like a jewel encrusted crown. He doesn't give a damn about the psychological, emotional, financial consequences his vanquishing you in this way have done to you and your children or the rest of your family.

Ruined your reputation? You deserved it. You are a fool. He's right; you're always wrong. He's told and retold vicious lies about you that your friends believe. He had to set them straight that you are "crazy" What other choice did he/she have? He has taken control of the property and assets through unethical means. All of the money has been spirited away into untraceable accounts. His reply: "This money belongs to me. No one else is going to touch it, especially my ex-wife and kids. If I decide to give something, they must come to me and beg." This is the clinical truth about the raw brutality, hubris and treachery of the narcissistic personality disorder. 

It is essential that we choose our battles. Sometimes the best decision is not to go into the fray. This absence from joining battle does not mean that you are cowardly or afraid. It can be the wisest of moves. When you make the decision to tangle with a charging, menacing bull of a narcissist, contemplate the long view of your life.  What really matters? What represents the best decision of your authentic self. Which path is best for your further inner development, your integrity and inner peace. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com 

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.

Telephone Consultation: United States and International

Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life     

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Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com