Recently, a famous directorial icon, was set free despite his crimes against a young teenage girl, perpetrated several decades ago. Viewed as godlike in his business and art and and by his large coterie of world admirers, he has been given a pass in a serious criminal matter---the rape and sodomy of a drugged young teenage girl. Those who cry foul are considered naive, judgmental and unsophisticated. I use this case as an example of how powerful male narcissists in the world get away with the sexual and psychological exploitation of women, including young teenage girls. (There are female narcissists who cruelly exploit others as well.)

Narcissists celebrated by the outside world for their talents, professional accomplishments, high social and economic status are often given a nod. Crimes are committed, legal loopholes and technicalities are found and the perpetrators are set free. Too many people accept this and say: "back to business; this person is too important to be constrained by some ancient past unremembered deed; he has been persecuted and victimized." 

Every day I encounter individuals who have been severely psychologically and emotionally damaged by powerful male narcissists (and female narcissists). Many of these women cannot move on with their lives because the psychological damage they have sustained has been so chronic and severe. This is often the case with women married to narcissists who didn't recognize for a long time that they were being exploited and abused by their narcissistic spouse. Often the narcissistic husband has planted enough convincing lies to turn even her closest friends and family against her.

Not all men who exploit young girls, young women and mature women are narcissists. But one way or another the narcissistic man uses and abuses women-----psychologically, financially, emotionally and sexually. (This is true for female narcissists as well).  However, the current society is still in many ways patriarchal.  Women have won many battles--professionally, educationally, economically. But there is a great distance left to travel when we are talking about intimate relationships and the ongoing flagrant abuse of women by narcissistic men, particularly those who are powerful and immune to legal prosecution or public outrage. The upper echelons in which these individuals travel defend reprehensible even criminal behaviors because of the narcissist's stature in the world, the heft of his social and business connections, the delusion of the public about the damage that narcissists do to others and a media that giddily embraces iconic powerful individuals as their source of narcissistic supplies.

Most male narcissists are neither iconic nor famous. Yet I have communicated with too many women--young and old--who have been exploited by male narcissists who "get away with it."

For women (and men): Arm yourself with the best detailed information on the narcissistic personality disorder. Put into immediate action, protection of your physical, psychological and emotional boundaries. Trust yourself and your judgment to know when someone you meet or already know can and will take advantage of you. Immediately distance yourself from these individuals regardless of their charm, power, financial resources or  the "specialness" they see in you. Override your attraction to them with your clear mind that tells you these narcissists are exploitive, out to get what they want and will damage you, unless you protect yourself. Seek the support of close trusted friends. Acknowledge your own self value, healthy narcissism and self respect to yourself and put this into action in your life. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.

Telephone Consultation: United States and International

Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life

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Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com