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It takes some children of narcissistic mothers many years to recognize that this parent was psychologically ill. Many sons and daughters of narcissistic mothers communicate to me about their growing up years. They speak of frequent cruel comments: "Why can't you do anything right. Your brother (or sister) always follows my instructions perfectly. "  "There is something the matter with you. When I was your age, I was the star of my class." What happened to you?" It is not words that stun and wound the child but the narcissistic mother's behavior.  She gives little or no attention to her children. She attacks her children with criticism, intimidation and abuse.

Many children of narcissists describe their home life a a form of imprisonment. Some children say that they spent a lot of time hiding in their rooms. The narcissistic mother never came to find her children. She was too busy with her appearance, her social friends and her career. Children came last or not at all.

When children of narcissistic mothers are grown and out of the house they retain the memories and scars of the years of abuse and neglect. It is held deep within their psyches and felt keenly as unbearable pain. Many adult children continue to make every effort to earn their narcissistic mother's love and respect. They don't understand that the narcissistic personality is incapable of feeling or caring about anyone, even their own children.

Often after years of psychological and emotional pain, the child of the narcissist makes a conscious decision to permanently cut off any communication with their narcissistic mother.  These adult children report that doing this was essential in reclaiming their individual lives to evolve in a positive direction and to find others who were capable of loving and caring about them. Visit my website:www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com