Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers-Get Help You Need
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Daughters of narcissistic mothers often feel isolated and besieged. All of their lives they have made every effort to make mother proud of them. Some of these mothers provide the basics for their children: food, shelter, schooling, sports. These mothers go through the motions, providing their daughters with a good education, lessons, etc. They are doing this because of their need to protect and burnish their perfect image not because they deeply care about their daughters. Some daughters are independent thinkers and decide on professions on their own. This doesn't please the narcissistic mother unless it is a specialty in medicine, the law or becoming a CEO at a very early age. They are completely unconcerned abut the psychological effects this form of coercion has on their daughters.
If, as an adult daughter of a narcissistic mother, you are still struggling with how to be good enough, know that you are. Seek good professional help. Don't go it alone. Turn to trusted friends for support, those who care deeply about you and with whom you can openly express your feelings. Develop a practice of stillness, easing the mind and body into a state of relaxation, free of stress. Recognize that you are a loving, empathic, gifted person, separate from your mother. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Posted by LindaMartinezLewi at 5/13/2010 11:37 AM 
Categories: self help, narcissism, mental health, interpersonal relationships
Tags: criticisms psychotic breaks put-downs chronically ill manipulative trusted friends daughters of narcissistic mothers
Categories: self help, narcissism, mental health, interpersonal relationships
Tags: criticisms psychotic breaks put-downs chronically ill manipulative trusted friends daughters of narcissistic mothers
In another post, Dr. Linda talks about being "psychologically fused" with the narcissist. This is true, not only of spouses of the narcissist, but of all who are involved with a narcissist.
It's so easy to fall into the trap of being "psychologically fused." In my case, my mother and sister are narcissists and the temptation is to fall in with them.
As Dr. Linda says, narcissists are limited in their capacity to provide. This means to me they are limited in their capacity to feel, to empathize. And they forever try to manipulate. They try to meld their lives with yours.
One becomes psychologically fused when the narcissist writes the script for the life-play, then hands out the roles to all involved. If you don't participate, you are punished.
This is especially true of the Scapegoat Child (me), the one who the N-mother blames for all their failures, misery, etc.
Refusing to play the narcissist's game is the hardest thing I've ever done. You have to develop a tough skin, a firm resolve, not allow them to manipulate you any longer. They exist on "Shutter Island" and you have to make up your mind you won't inhabit that island, that you won't participate in their weird and crazy world. You have to reject the role they hand you and go your on way.
If the narcissists start up with manipulation tactics, you have to repel their hi jinx. As Dr. Linda says, "ground yourself," and refuse to participate. Instead, be yourself-- your true self, your "authentic self."
This, IMO, is a spiritual thing. Narcissist try to steal your spiritual being. They try to steal your soul. You have to throw up boundaries, fences, not let them dictate your life. If you do, you will prevail. You have "the Force" on your side. You will succeed. Don't give up. ~Donna
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