Narcissists Press Your Weak Spots
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Narcissists, who are without insight or wisdom, know exactly how to put you under just the right presssure to break you when you are feeling weak and vulnerable. If you are in a relationship wita narcissist, especially a marriage, learn how to protect yourself.
Once you have recognized that this individual lis a narcissistic personality disorder, be forwarned. These persolaity structures are very unlikely to ever change. Recognize and appreciate that you are a strong, unique individual who deserves to be treated wit respect and caring. Reconditioning can be achieved thruogh a consistent routine of meditaiton, stillness practice, yoga or othre healing modalities. If you have children with this individeual, they come first. Seek good psychotherapy for your children and yourself. In some instances it becomes necessary to sever the relationship with the narcissist through divorce. There are no perfect solutions. Trust yourself and your deep intuition for guidance. Working with yourself in this way with self love and gentleness, you will find taht your weak spots are less numerous and the ones that remain have been srengthened by your determinatin to heal and to reclaim yourself and your life. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife..com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation
Posted by LindaMartinezLewi at 5/13/2010 12:30 AM 
Categories: self help, narcissism, mental health, interpersonal relationships
Tags: expert predators deep intuition for guidance detach from narcissist survivors of narcissistic parents strike where you hurt the most
Categories: self help, narcissism, mental health, interpersonal relationships
Tags: expert predators deep intuition for guidance detach from narcissist survivors of narcissistic parents strike where you hurt the most
This is so true. My husband is a NPD for sure. He's like a predator at "pushing the buttons" of anyone close to him (spouse). If you are a stranger or acquaintance, he goes out of his way to be charming. It's like NPDs are "flipped around", and their reasoning is "upside down".
I will (very soon)leave my narcissistic husband. He cannot be cured. He acts decent for a short-time upon ultimatum, but retreats back to his debilitating verbal assaults, belittling, and narcissistic rage. The rage comes for any reason, generally small incidences invoke enormous reactions from him. Often, he "can't remember" what I said to make him fly off the handle.
Whatever it is, it's not normal. He can argue with himself for 30 or more minutes (I'm completely silent). To a narcissist, the spouse is the enemy. They truly believe that you (the spouse) are against them, and that they should safeguard themeselves from you.
My husband used to be able to push all my "weak spots"..they access your fears and literally bring them to life! But, now that I don't have feelings for him anymore, he is unable to affect me the way he used to. His verbal assaults that used to humiliate me, are now quite comical at times! He spews the same toxic words. He's like a 7 year old child who was deprived of candy and pitches a fit in the middle of a store aisle. He literally throws child-like temper tantrums, using adult vocabulary. Once you are able to psychologically shield yourself from their terrorism, all their antics become cartoonish and pathetic!
What is troubling is the constant requests for attention. They are the "neediest" people on earth. They don't believe anyone around them deserve peace unless it's with their permission, and they are never satisfied and always wants their spouse to give more of themselves to them. They are truly psychological vampires because of their refusal to recognize human boundaries. They feel that anything they do is okay, if they say so.
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Press your weak spots? How about go for the juggler? They are, indeed, predators, as Dr. Linda has described. Like sharks, the slightest bit of blood drives them into a feeding frenzy.
Ten years ago, my husband was gravely ill. He has since recovered and is fine now, but spent a month in ICU and had a long recovery afterwards. I was an emotional wreck, as he was at the brink of death on four different occasions. Enter my narcissistic sister, who instead of offering me comfort and kindness, makes a lame joke and laughs in my face. I will never forget the impact of her hurtful and snarky words. It was as if someone had kicked me in the gut with a steel-toed boot. At the time, I didn't know she was a narcissist and was at odds to explain how she could be so cruel. I told my narcissistic mother about it (didn't know she was a N at that time, either), and she jumped to the defense of the Golden Child. "Why she was just trying to cheer you up!" Okay. So now I get a slap on top of the kick in the gut.
Since that time, I have developed a thick skin and learned not to show any emotion-- happy or sad-- around my N-sister and N-mother, as they will surely try to pounce on any weakness and rain on any happiness.
You cannot believe they will ever change. Dr. Linda has said this over and over. Looking for the good in people, as I try to do, it's hard to accept this bitter truth. But it's necessary for your survival. ~Donna
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