Dark Duality of the Covert Narcissist
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When I think of the covert narcissist the word cunning quickly comes to mind. I visualize the covert narcissist as an animal who must stalk and kill or die. Unconsciously the covert narcissist is more desperate and there more dangerous. He or she is psychologically hungrier, cagey, a dirty fighter, without a retinue of followers and servants. Be prepared with your knowledge of exactly how the covert narcissist operates. Develop a strong immunity from the covert narcissist by nurturing inner calmness, a respect for your unique self and a healthy attitude toward your entitlement to a full, loving and productive life. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Posted by LindaMartinezLewi at 3/26/2010 8:38 AM 
Categories: self help, narcissism, mental health, interpersonal relationships
Tags: nurturing calmness desperate covert narcissist projections cunning dangerous productive life
Categories: self help, narcissism, mental health, interpersonal relationships
Tags: nurturing calmness desperate covert narcissist projections cunning dangerous productive life
Cunning? Oh, yes. Quite cunning, indeed. Recently, my narcissistic sister and I attended my aunt's funeral. My N-sister-- a golden child, "renowned" by my narcissistic mother for her musical ability-- offered to play the piano for the funeral service.
The night before the service, my N-sister and I attended the visitation and, afterwards, my sister practiced on the piano at the funeral home. As I was walking by, she invited me to come over and sing a few bars of a hymn, saying she needed a soprano to sing in order to gauge the range she would play at the funeral. Sounds innocent, right? Let's examine a little further.
My N-sister knew I had a history of singing off key (had accompanied me in a high school talent show where I made a fool of myself), and even though I have since had voice lessons and improved, my N-sister knew I hadn't sung in choir for years. So the bottom line is, she knew I was out of practice and I would likely fail to deliver, so she set me up. I stupidly took the bait, cracking on several high notes, my face turning beet red in front of my cousins whom I hadn't seen in years and, to add insult to injury, were accomplished vocalists.
I wanted to run to the nearest rat hole. Mission accomplished, as far as my N-sister was concerned. I saw the smirk creep up on her face: "I toasted her," she must have said to herself.
Sure, just a small thing in the scheme of things. But one of numerous times she has humiliated me with her covert set-ups.
From Dr. Linda's post-- "Develop a strong immunity from the covert narcissist by nurturing inner calmness, a respect for your unique self and a healthy attitude toward your entitlement to a full, loving and productive life."
Dr. Linda is so right. She has blogged a lot about developing your authentic self. I believe distancing-- if it is at all possible with "these people"-- involves SHIFTING THE FOCUS from the narcissist back to YOU and YOUR LIFE. They hate that. -- Donna
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GREAT....>ONE......
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