Narcissists, especially those who are very successful in their careers, know how to turn a phrase. Whether it is entertainment, technology, politics or some other highly prized profession, high level narcissists--male and female--know exactly how to sell a concept or program in a compelling manner. Narcissists are convincing up close, using their charm and self assurance, to sell us on their many promises. Those married to narcissists know too well how often promises made to them have been broken. The narcissist uses this tactic as a tranquilizer to keep his partner quiet and subdued.  Narcissists often build up hopes to keep the spouse compliant. When the time comes and the promise is broken, the narcissist makes an easy excuse and fabricates another commitment he doesn't plan to honor.

Narcissists treat those close to them like objects without feelings. He/she is unconcerned about the hurt and anguish that he causes even to the closest members of his family. I frequently hear from spouses of narcissists who have been promised and re-promised too many times to count. And yet they stay with the narcissistic spouse, believing that next time, he or she will come through. Often this false belief is based on childhood wishes that were never fulfilled by the parent. Each time he came up empty handed the child had to tell himself that next time his mom or dad would keep his word to read him a story, spend a little time with him, make plans for a special day. Instead of dealing with the psychological losses and cruel disappointments of childhood, many individuals marry narcissists who offer glittery empty promises. They have chosen a spouse who will always put himself first. 

Once you understand the internal psychic structure and workings of the narcissistic personality, you will not be fooled again. You will learn to protect yourself from narcissistic deceit, assert your individuality and find fulfillment in real relationships where feelings are accepted and promises are honored and kept. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com