There is a strong surge of narcissism in our culture today---like a mighty undertow. We see the media catering to narcissists every day---even if some of them have stolen public money for their private whims. They are growing substantially in number because they are so revered by the public. As long as a movie or TV celebrity, sports star, is at the top professionally and is gorgeous and talented, it doesn't matter whom he/she harms in their private life.

Those who live with narcissists as marital partners or children are on a difficult path. They may not realize that the narcissist lives only for himself or herself. If you are part of his personal life, the narcissist does not view you as a unique, separate human being who deserves respect. You are an object and a fixture in his domain that reflects his perfection and dominance.

Being married to a narcissist and divorcing a narcissist are challenging to say the least. The narcissist is determined to take over your life. Everything, including you, revolves around him. That's the way narcissists operate. Don't be swept away by their promises or the lifestyle that you share with them. No one can own you or force you to be or do what is against your will. As children we were at the mercy of our parents. As adults it is important to realize that the narcissist is not our tyrannical parent. The good parent doesn't allow his child to be ensnared by the narcissist. If the situation becomes too toxic, divorcing a narcissist in order to preserve the mental and psychological health and wholeness of one's children, can become necessary. I have read and heard too many life stories of spouses who hung on to the narcissist's lifestyle and all of the public praise and attention connected with this at the expense of their children's mental and emotional health.

As an adult the narcissist cannot ruin or eclipse your life, unless you allow him/her to do this. Think about who you really are, demonstrate respect for yourself as an individual, give life to the use of your many unique creative gifts and vow----"The narcissist will neither eclipse my life nor disturb my inner peace." To learn more in depth about the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website:www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D. Telephone Consultation

Email:lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com