There is a fascinating paradox about the narcissistic personality disorder. Narcissists are incapable of personal insight, deep introspection or empathy. Narcissists live only to win, to excel, to prevail over others, to make sure that others lose and are vanquished. Yet the clever narcissist knows just how to play his or her spouse. He knows when you are tired, emotionally regressed, out of kilter. It is at these times of vulnerability that the narcissist pushes your most tender emotional and psychological buttons. He/she knows where the blow, the lance, the fist will result in maximum pain and damage. This capacity of stealth developed over decades. It began in his early childhood. This stealth is a survival game that the narcissist mastered to prove his superiority and his supreme power over others.

You cannot change your narcissistic spouse but you can choose how or if you are going to respond to him/her. You are in charge of yourself. Learning more about the narcissistic personality than he knows about himself is an excellent beginning point. Another important step is to recognize your own personal power and strength of purpose. Appreciate your personal integrity, your character as  a person capable of empathy and insight. Maintain your psychological steadiness. Keep your boundaries clear from the narcissist. Strengthen your psychological and spiritual muscles. This is an opportunity for you to distinguish yourself from the overpowering presence of the narcissist who has overshadowed you. Come out of the shadows and celebrate your unique identity and the promise of your creative gifts and boundless energies. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com