Many readers share their horror stories with me about their marriages to narcissists (male and female). One of the most painful aspects of their dilemmas occurs when they have children with a narcissist. In some instances one of their children is  a budding narcissist. He or she has already identified strongly with the narcissistic parent. Some individuals don't believe there is anything they can do  about this unfortunate and often tragic development. The parent stands by hoping that the influence of his narcissistic spouse will disperse or go away. In some instances the narcissistic father (or mother) is so distant from his child's life that the main impact is one of loss (the psychological longing for not having a mother or father who loved and cared for them) In the case of the overpowering narcissistic parent the psychological consequences to the child can be very harmful. Other children become narcissists. Others suffer manipulation, rejection, exploitation and all the other psychological cruelties perpetrated by the narcissistic parent.

Some spouses of narcissists are too intimidated to take action. Others don't know they are married to narcissist and remain ignorant and part of their narcissistic spouse's delusion. Often they are trapped by the comfortable lifestyle and high social status they lead.  Others know that the narcissist is doing damage to their child but feel helpless and overwhelmed.

There are very brave, informed parents who decide that no matter what they have to endure they will do whatever they have to in order to diminish the impact of the narcissistic parent. In some cases, a divorce is the best course of action. Although custody is often shared, at least the non narcissistic spouse can provide a separate nurturing non-exploitive home base for the child (children). My deepest respect goes out to these parents who have put their children first despite everything. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com