Never Underestimate the Narcissist's Ruthlessness
The narcissist arrives and moves into our lives with striking, compelling outer packaging. Often he or she is very attractive, bright, a social standout. The narcissist always has a plan up his sleeve about the people in his life. He asks himself: "What can this person do for me?" "Can I make money or achieve higher status through his contacts?" "What's the best way to get rid of him/her after I've gotten what I want?" "Who is the next person on the horizen who can fulfill my desires?"
Narcissists go after their goals with a vengeance---like old testament gods. There are no shades of gray when they are driving down the home stretch. They wreck marriages, abort contracts, cause intolerable stress and anxiety within their homes, detour money into their coffers when it belongs to someone else. Narcissists are ultimate users. They are particularly dangerous to those who are emotionally fragile and dependent. Borderline personalities are often victims of the narcissist's ruthlessness. The borderline has a deep pathological fear of abandonment. These individuals are emotionally unstable and are inclined to go through periods of extreme mood swings, have poor ego boundaries and problems with impulse control. As a result they are easy fodder for the preditory narcissist. I have known many instances in which borderline personalities who are psychologically enmeshed with narcissists have lost any remnant of control over their own lives as a result of these highly dysfunctional relationships.The narcissist doesn't suffer; he has no conscience. There are no consequences for his horrendous actions because he's learned the fine art of not leaving his finger prints on these lowly deeds. Some borderlines have psychotic breaks or if they are alcoholic they swirl down into the oblivion of their addiction. In some cases, the victims become physically ill and have difficulty recovering their health. Meanwhile, the narcissist has moved on to his next prize.
To those who fear him, the narcissist says:"If you don't give me what I want, I will take it from you." "If you make it impossible for me, I will destroy you." These are the clear implications that narcissists leave with those who cower in his presence. When we stand steady within ourselves and face the narcissist without being intimidated, we have a great opportunity to assert ourselves and the truth. Coming to a deep understanding of how the narcissist functions psychologically and why and learning to deal with him successfully, will expand you consciousness and your life in every way. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
.
Narcissists go after their goals with a vengeance---like old testament gods. There are no shades of gray when they are driving down the home stretch. They wreck marriages, abort contracts, cause intolerable stress and anxiety within their homes, detour money into their coffers when it belongs to someone else. Narcissists are ultimate users. They are particularly dangerous to those who are emotionally fragile and dependent. Borderline personalities are often victims of the narcissist's ruthlessness. The borderline has a deep pathological fear of abandonment. These individuals are emotionally unstable and are inclined to go through periods of extreme mood swings, have poor ego boundaries and problems with impulse control. As a result they are easy fodder for the preditory narcissist. I have known many instances in which borderline personalities who are psychologically enmeshed with narcissists have lost any remnant of control over their own lives as a result of these highly dysfunctional relationships.The narcissist doesn't suffer; he has no conscience. There are no consequences for his horrendous actions because he's learned the fine art of not leaving his finger prints on these lowly deeds. Some borderlines have psychotic breaks or if they are alcoholic they swirl down into the oblivion of their addiction. In some cases, the victims become physically ill and have difficulty recovering their health. Meanwhile, the narcissist has moved on to his next prize.
To those who fear him, the narcissist says:"If you don't give me what I want, I will take it from you." "If you make it impossible for me, I will destroy you." These are the clear implications that narcissists leave with those who cower in his presence. When we stand steady within ourselves and face the narcissist without being intimidated, we have a great opportunity to assert ourselves and the truth. Coming to a deep understanding of how the narcissist functions psychologically and why and learning to deal with him successfully, will expand you consciousness and your life in every way. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
.
Posted by LindaMartinezLewi at 11/10/2009 1:16 PM 
Categories: borderlines,self help,narcissism,mental health,interpersonal relationships,narcissists
Tags: lack of conscience preditory narcissist's ruthlessness borderline personalities
Categories: borderlines,self help,narcissism,mental health,interpersonal relationships,narcissists
Tags: lack of conscience preditory narcissist's ruthlessness borderline personalities
I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I take meds, have had a lot of counseling and have God in my life, and was feeling good about life, until I met my husband. I married him after only one month, even though he was already making unreasonable demands on my freedom. I had it in my head that it was God's will, because I had always wanted to have a ministry, and he was a free-lance preacher and we were going to do that together--he wants to be a TV evangelist--which I now see he has no talent for and definitely too crazy for. He kept saying that he was just anxious and it would go away after 6 mos like it did in his first marriage. Well, he was absolutely unbearable within 2 weeks of marriage. He tore me down--I'd be sitting there minding my own business, and he would just stay on my case because I wasn't what he thought I should be, while also being extremely wonderful at times--which kept me hooked for while. At first, I tried to be patient, but he was impossible to please. Within a month, I started cussing and hitting and throwing stuff at him like he did to me. This was not a pattern for me, but i found out it was for him--I spoke to his former fiancee who he abused worse than he did me--she didn't ever call the police--and I did, the fear of which made him think twice. He was constantly telling me I was a "borderline freak" and putting me down. Although I knew he was crazy himself, I was demoralized that someone I loved could treat me this way and I felt like a "freak" because he kept telling me he was going to have me put into a mental institution because I was suicidal. In the past, I had no more than fleeting thoughts of suicide--but the level of stress he put me through was unbearable and I hated to end up a single mother again--and wasn't thinking straight. Being borderline, I don't deal with emotional stress very well, and this was over the top. I didn't even tell anyone what I was going through, but my daughters were witness to some of it and begged me to leave him. I even started cutting myself a little, which I have NEVER done before. I tried to leave him several times--he would call me day and night--I put restraining orders on him, only to take them off. Finally I got the strength to get away when I was 6 mos. pregnant when he became increasingly violent--due to me being afraid for the baby's sake. I got a restraining order, which works well, because he is paranoid anyway and afraid of the police. So, I am doing WAY better now--I'm really enjoying my new son--but not sure what he is planning concerning seeing the baby in the future--the baby is 4 mos. old now. I hope my story will shed some more light on the Borderline-Narcisstic Personality combo.
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