Do Your Homework Before Marrying A Narcissist
I am writing this blog post to women and men who are involved with and plan to marry narcissists. I have been listening to and reading the most painful life stories of spouses of narcissists. Most narcissists are men but there are many female narcissists in today's self absorbed culture. It is so heartbreaking for the non-narcissistic spouse to find out after a number of years that her partner never loved her in the first place and that he or she was being used like a prop to enhance the narcissist's image or to use her wealth or family connections--- all of the reasons that narcissists use to get what they want without any regard to the emotional hurt and havoc they cause. Being with a narcissist in any personal way will turn out badly. There are no happy endings if we share our lives with them.
There are some red flags that you can use to identify a narcissist who is attracted to you. Watch the charm magnet. This doesn't mean that everyone who is charming is a narcissist. But they have a special kind of magnetism. They are overly confident and self absorbed. Many of them brag, directly and indirectly. Watch for frequent name dropping. Notice how they cleverly tell you how important and successful they are, far beyond anyone else. Listen to them speak about their famous friends, all the places they have traveled, their precious possessions, their position of power, influence and and specialness among a special group of people. When you are with a narcissist, listen to the words but don't forget the music. There is a too good to be true facet attached to them. It may take you a few times to identify this man or woman as a narcissist. Observe carefully in a detached way. Pay close attention to your intuition. True intuition is never wrong. We get into trouble when we over-ride our intuition. Read some current quality books by experts on the narcissistic personality disorder. Take your time and use your good judgment before making the momentous decision of marrying a narcissist. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinourlife.com
There are some red flags that you can use to identify a narcissist who is attracted to you. Watch the charm magnet. This doesn't mean that everyone who is charming is a narcissist. But they have a special kind of magnetism. They are overly confident and self absorbed. Many of them brag, directly and indirectly. Watch for frequent name dropping. Notice how they cleverly tell you how important and successful they are, far beyond anyone else. Listen to them speak about their famous friends, all the places they have traveled, their precious possessions, their position of power, influence and and specialness among a special group of people. When you are with a narcissist, listen to the words but don't forget the music. There is a too good to be true facet attached to them. It may take you a few times to identify this man or woman as a narcissist. Observe carefully in a detached way. Pay close attention to your intuition. True intuition is never wrong. We get into trouble when we over-ride our intuition. Read some current quality books by experts on the narcissistic personality disorder. Take your time and use your good judgment before making the momentous decision of marrying a narcissist. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinourlife.com
Posted by LindaMartinezLewi at 10/22/2009 8:14 AM 
Categories: self help, narcissism, marriage, mental health, narcissist
Tags: self assorbed narcissistic magnetism intuition marriage to narcissists identify narcissist name dropping
Categories: self help, narcissism, marriage, mental health, narcissist
Tags: self assorbed narcissistic magnetism intuition marriage to narcissists identify narcissist name dropping
And I would also be so bold to add - check out a few claims made by anyone you date - inconspicuously. If you have to hire a PI, do it (they are not necessarily expensive and don't have to do any surveillance.) Learning not to trust everyone automatically is a hard lesson. The confidence gained in fact-checking to take care of yourself is valuble. I have learned that people lie. Period. Not everyone, not all the time, not necessarily with a goal to gain something, but they do lie. At age 50 I finally grew up. The minute you accept that people lie, you will be on your way to wisdom and self-sufficiency. Just don't use the fact that other people lie to justify to yourself your own dishonesty; be above it.
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