Most people trust therapists who hold the proper education degrees from legitimate colleges and universities and have professional licensing as psychotherapists, psychologists, marriage family therapists, social workers, psychiatrists, psychoanalysts, etc.  It may sound shocking but there are innumerable therapists working with clients who  are not only unqualified to be offering psychotherapy but are highly dysfunctional, psychologically and mentally.  It is essential that a therapist who is treating a client have an in depth understanding and extensive clinical experience working with his clients. The therapist himself/herself  should have worked through his own core psychological issues. The therapist needs to participate in high quality therapy himself. I am not talking about attending group therapy for a couple of months or workshops on cruise ships from time to time.  An excellent therapist is constantly in the process of psychological self examination and supervision by mentor therapists when issues arise treating certain patients which the therapist cannot resolve on his own. I have seen instances in which therapists were licensed after receiving minimal psychotherapy.  On the other hand there are psychoanalysts who have been in training for years, are treating patients daily and are repeatedly projecting their deepest psychological issues on to their patients. I have personally had this experience as a client and know of instances from my own practice and from other therapists that these anti-therapeutic situations occur.  Despite these comments, it is true that there are many excellent therapists practicing.

In this article I am zeroing in on therapists who treat clients who are suffering from abusive marital and partnership relationships with narcissistic personalities. Living with and being married to a narcissistic personality is difficult and often impossible. The constant manipulations, lies, betrayals, intimidations,exploitations become overwhelming. There is a point of no return for some partners when they decide they must leave the narcissist.  In many cases, they quickly find a therapist and begin the work. This is often a mistake, particularly if the therapist chosen in the urgency of the moment is a narcissist. The narcissistic therapist  can be very clever at pretending he/she is empathic. In some extreme cases, the narcissistic therapist will make sexual overtures to the client. This behavior is unethical and illegal.

Tune into your intuition. Is the therapist giving you his/her full attention? Is the therapist a masterful listener who takes in your feelings and thoughts in a calm, unjudgmental manner. Is the therapist in command of his own emotions and thought processes. Does the therapist have thorough formal eduction and clinical training and expertise in the narcissistic personality disorder? Narcissistic therapists tend to talk about themselves; in this case, you are paying for their session. Some of them speak at length about  their personal lives which is totally inappropriate. Narcissistic therapists are focused on making lots of money and finding clients who are particularly vulnerable, psychologically. It is a perfect match for them to work with a desperate client, the spouse or ex-spouse of a narcissist who will become more and more emotionally dependent on them. Don't repeat with a narcissistic therapist some of the same painful issues you are already dealing with in your relationship with a narcissistic spouse or partner.

Remember, you have chosen this therapist to help you to identify, understand, work through and heal your issue with the narcissistic spouse or partner. This is accomplished through the establishment of a solid professional therapeutic alliance. Therapy at its best can be indispensable, especially in dealing with the narcissistic personality. Visit my website:www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com


Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation
Email:lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com