I have always loved the gap between  Lauren Hutton's front teeth. For years I didn't know it was there. The haute couture agencies for whom she has worked as a supermodel insisted that she wear a dental prosthesis to assure a perfect symmetrical smile. As time has passed, Lauren revealed her exquisite gap with total naturalness. This is a woman who accepts herself as she is, making any imperfections part of her uniqueness. This refreshing attitude is quite rare. Many people, whether they are clinically narcissists or not, are seeking outer perfection. The pilgrimage to make all things perfect has become an obsession in some circles. A deepening wrinkle, a lawn with mismatched blades of grass, an extra five pounds of flesh have become the new mortal and venial sins.

Many narcissists insist that "everything in their environment---homes, cars, personal effects---must reflect a flawless self." This is the part of the elaborate mask that the narcissist substitutes for a real self.  The real self is imperfect, flawed and fully human. A person who is authentic is capable of introspection, insight and compassion.  They are here to learn, to dive into deeper waters of awareness and reflection. They do not judge others by an external persona, level of formal education, or material success. Authentic individuals not only overlook outer imperfections but find a dignity and beauty in those who are aesthetically flawed. We can start with ourselves and begin to accept and love the parts of us that are outwardly imperfect, to the point of celebrating their uniqueness. Embrace those wild tendrils of hair, asymmetrical brows, thunder thighs, our small simple abode, older car, lack of social pedigree. Let your eyes dance; catch the light in others, laugh out loud, and feel the expanding psychological and spiritual openings of this precious moment. Visit my website:www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
email:lmlphd@gmail.com