The narcissist suffers from a severe personality disorder that is characterized by grandiosity, feelings of superiority and perfection, self absorption, lack of empathy and constant irrational demands. Living with a narcissistic spouse can feel like you are a member of the crew of the ship in "The Caine Mutiny." Captain Queeg is at the helm. Narcissistic, paranoid, and delusionally demanding, Queeg lives in his own reality and insists that those under his command obey him without question. There is a famous scene in the  movie where Queeg turns the ship upside down, shaking with rage, asking  "Where are the strawberries?"  Despite the serious responsibility of commanding the ship, the Captain dismisses his duty to pursue the disappearance of a quart of strawberries that are on board. He has keys changed, rages at the crew and turns the ship upside down as if everyone's life depended on it. Captain Queeg is narcissistic and psychotically paranoid. Although most narcissists are not psychotic, their demands are delusional, beyond the pale. 

Are you married to a male or female version of Captain Queeg? Is there a complete lack of proportionality between the "Off with their heads" rantings over some small mistake that you made or that your narcissistic spouse deluded that you made? Are you sharply  criticized and demeaned when you perform a task perfectly? Screaming, fulminating, threatening---These are the sounds and furies of the narcissist on his chaotic ship in gale force winds. In the movie, Captain Queeg is put on the stand and exposed for his psychotic paranoid delusions. In real life high functioning narcissists are rarely laid bare for their cruelties and merciless punishments. Some spouses decide that working through the suffering, grief, anxiety and tumult of ending the marriage is a wiser course than remaining on board with Captain Queeg. Visit my website:www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
email:lmlphd@gmail.com