The narcissist only feels alive when his ego is highly inflated. He or she is constantly finding people and situations that  provide him with essential supplies:adulation, praise,  accolades, power, control of others. High level narcissists who function outwardly with great success develop circles of admirers and followers who ply them with the rich golden honey of dutiful obedience and veneration.  

Today, many people are caught up with an obsession with what I call the "Perfection of the Externals." Their sense of reality and value is based on the material: the monetary value of their homes, cars,  the outer persona (flawless face, body shape, clothing). These individuals are focused on molding a personal image that exudes physical and sexual desirability, access to power and  material largesse. Not everyone who is obsessed with his persona is a narcissist. But today's culture rewards those who display an external image that is very attractive, confident, and ambitious. The culture is much less concerned about the interior of the individual: the strength of his integrity, honesty, compassion, kindness.  

The narcissist has a lifelong love affair with his ego. We all need to have a strong sense of our worth and self respect. We must know how to defend ourselves when others attempt to psychologically wound us and to be very clear about our psychological boundaries.

Unlike the narcissist, those who continue to grow psychologically past toddlerhood, learn to tame the ego. This is done by listening to the voice and counsel of the true self  and the insight that is there within the quieting mind. "As the ego recedes, the persona is freed from the imprisonment of false self-images and pretensions...The individual experiences a powerful union with all living beings and creation itself."  Visit my website:www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
email:lmlphd@gmail.com