Narcissists are constantly on stage, perfecting their acts.  They are in a suspended state of walking the boards on opening night. The lighting has been meticulously placed to feature him or her as the key presence. Other members of the cast are there to make the narcissist's star the brightest entity in the galaxy. High level narcissists are  fine actors. They are believable to most people. They are gifted at convincing others that they hold the ultimate secrets to obtaining and maintaining power and control over their world.  Their cockiness and sure footed manner has an intoxicating effect.  In the hands of a gifted narcissist it is hard to say "No" or to give your own opinion (especially when it is the truth.)

The narcissist's drama swings wildly between delusional grandeur, plans for limitless power and possession and white hot rage that  encircles and spews forth like an awakened ancient volcano. If you are in favor with the King or Queen (the narcissist) there is nothing he or she won't do for you. If you are in disfavor, you can expect vituperative, cruel responses that cut deeply and leave scars. 

Leaning to detach yourself emotionally and psychologically from such an accomplished actor is a tall order but it can be done. Begin by holding on to your awareness that this individual has a severe personality disorder that is very unlikely to change. Appraise what is happening to you emotionally and psychologically as a result of your relationship with this person. Are the promises and small hints of affection and caring enough to see you through?  Are you willing to nibble at the tiny fragments of hope  the narcissist sends your way? How long will you believe the lies that are custom built to keep drawing you in? How much intimidation, humiliation and criticism are you willing to take when the narcissist turns cold and ugly? The narcissist is a thief, a stealer of lives. How badly do you want to be the author of your own life and your own identity?  These are some of the questions that will help you to make an appraisal and a decision to detach yourself from the black magic of the narcissist. Visit my website:www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com


Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
email:lmlphd@gmail.com