Much of the western world is entranced with the external image. We are inundated with the personas of  the famous and powerful.
A large number of individuals idolized by this culture are narcissistic personalities.  Many of us are swept up in their glamorous, over the top lifestyles. There are a number of narcissists, past and present, who are brilliant, talented and highly skilled. Some have made contributions to the world of art, entertainment, medical science, law, politics.  Without diminishing their accomplishments and their special gifts, it is important to separate the image from the reality of the inner person.  We can appreciate someone's achievements but make discriminations about what kind of human beings they are.  The iconic  Pablo Picasso is a good example of a great artist who reached the pinnacles of the art world. His personal life is heavily dotted with the innumerable cruelties and betrayals that he perpetrated.  His treachery with woman in particular is infamous and legendary. Picasso is a high level, larger than life narcissist who can be understood both from the perspective of his creativity and the powerful image and role that he played in the world and the disastrous  tragic chaos that he caused to everyone who shared their lives with him. 

We can be impressed  and appreciative with the talent and brilliance of  narcissists who are high achievers.  We can also learn to separate their accomplishments from the way that they treat others. Narcissists do not deserve automatic worship; no one does. When you meet a high powered narcissist who is about to dazzle you, take a moment and recognize that beneath it all, this individual is no more important than you or anyone else.  Yes, they may have traveled far in the world of achievements and honors, but this is not the sum total of the person. The high level narcissist is unable to separate himself or herself from the grandiose persona he has created. This is reinforced by the popular, celebrity obsessed, success at any cost, culture that endlessly heaps veneration and praise on them. 

Those who are working toward psychological and spiritual wholeness turn inward to ask themselves how they are progressing. These individuals are grateful for the flowering of their creative and productive gifts but are not defined by them. They strive to quiet the constant "I's " and "me's" of the ego and become more transparent. "For a few transparency is the goal...(They) are like the purest waters of an azure lagoon, where a swimmer views the white sandy bottom thirty feet down. They  teach us to be less concerned with living by an image...They put no finger to the wind to gauge if they are liked, loved, accepted, or hated. ...They stand firm and unafraid."   Next time you meet a narcissist, you will feel less awe and view him with a clearer unobstructed vision. Visit my website:www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
email:lmlphd@gmail.com