Being married to a narcissist is a unique experience. That is an understatement.  Narcissists suffer from a severe personality disorder that is characterized by specific engrained traits and behaviors: feelings of superiority, extreme self entitlement, total lack of empathy, obsessive self absorption, exploitation of others, constant manipulation and deceitfulness.  After that description we could ask: Why would anyone choose to be married to a narcissist?  Narcissists who function at a very high level in the world and who are socially adept, possess a magnetic charm and persuasiveness that is electrifying. They are masters at attracting people to them. Many high level narcissists are extremely successful and people gravitate to them. They lead lifestyles that are exciting and appealing to those who are part of their inner circle. The spouse or partner of a narcissist shares the perks that come with this level of success. There are no concerns about finances. They move in high social circles, meet important people, and travel the world. For many spouses the glamour of this lifestyle is intoxicating.  If the spouse has suffered great psychological or material deprivation in childhood, living at this level of abundance and distraction can be irresistible and addictive. But there's another side to this ornate drama---It is the reality of living each day with a narcissist who cares and thinks and feels only about himself or herself. From the narcissist's perspective, you are his possession. Your life belongs to him. You are at his mercy.  Trapped like a long held prisoner, you must dance to the rhythm and cadence of his tune. The narcissist is highly critical and demanding of his spouse. He requires total perfection from you.  Your perfect execution of his demands never measure up. The narcissist  frequently explodes at his mate for apparently no reason at all. Narcissists carry within them a volcanic rage that erupts frequently and violently. The narcissist blames the spouse for everything that goes wrong (especially if it is his fault).

When you are married to a narcissist, your life is smothered by his or her grandiose ego and constant hunger for adulation, attention and admiration. There is no room for your feelings, thoughts or creative ideas. There is no peace, no place to contemplate---even inside your own mind, which is always swimming with your anticipation the narcissist's next recrimination or intimidation. There are moments when you know that you can no longer continue this charade. What steps are you willing to take to reclaim and lead the life that you deserve?
Visit my website:www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D. .