Narcissistic personalities are ever-present in our world today. We view them on the world stage, on television, at work and in our social lives.  Many of us are dealing with narcissists at very close quarters. We are married to a narcissist or are involved in a serious relationship with a narcissist. Those who align themselves with narcissists, no longer have a life that belongs to them. The partner, though he or she may be very successful professionally, must cater to the narcissist's grandiose ego and constant demands if he or she wants to remain part of the narcissist's innermost  circle. Those who live with narcissists have their light obscured by the tremendous shadow that the these individuals cast.  The narcissist chooses partners for specific reasons. A narcissist picks those who will satisfy his needs and ego gratifications. They often choose individuals who are physically attractive, intelligent, loyal, and giving. Living with a narcissist is labor intensive on every level: physically, mentally,emotionally, and psychologically. Although the narcissist can be seductively charming and attentive at times, these individuals are incapable of true intimacy. They are unable to show genuine empathy. Some high level narcissists, those who are particularly smooth socially, affect a fake empathy that fools a lot of people. Once the moment has passed and the "cameras are off", the narcissist returns to his self absorption.  

 Many spouses and partners of narcissists decide, either consciously or unconsciously, that they will remain in the relationship. They have become accustomed to a certain lifestyle or sense of economic security or social scene that is comforting to them.  The thought of severing the "relationship" with divorce or breakup is overwhelming and frightening.  Those who decide that they can no longer live in the shadow of the narcissist and that their daily and nightly hours have become too painful and intolerable, rise to the moment of opportunity. They decide that they deserve a life that belongs to them. Working through a divorce or breakup with the help of quality professional psychotherapy and other sources of support leads the former spouse or partner into the light of an authentic, calmer, more flexible, creative reality. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation
email:lmlphd@gmail.com